Less Dirt, More Seawater

You know what’s a great song? The Rain Song, by Led Zeppelin.

You know what’s also great? Then She Did by Jane’s Addiction.

* * *

I find myself often at a loss for what to write about on his blog anymore. I used to blog incessantly. About pizza and weird shit I saw during the day, trying to fix broken pieces of ancient early 90’s technology and way too much information on whomever I happened to have a crush on at the moment.

Then I locked that shit down and moved to another blog platform where I blogged almost exclusively about feelings because there were only a handful of people who ever read that shit.

Then I locked that shit down again and decided I shouldn’t blog about feelings or weird inane shit that happened during the day anymore, which stuck me with a format of long essays, which wound up mostly being about feelings anyway.

I don’t know why I decided that blogging had to be substantial in some way.

Sometimes I miss not knowing anything about anything and just using the shit around me because it was new and it was there to be used. Just like I miss spending four hours sitting around in my bedroom playing guitar along to a relentless parade of grunge and classic rock songs.

Basically I think I’m just starting to get a little sick of being an old. I keep wondering if this cynicism that keeps trying to creep in around the edges of everything is saturation ennui. If there even is such a thing.

I went to a show the other week in a tiny bar where three 80’s shoegaze synth bands were playing, and I spent the entire show overjoyed to be there. I had some serious hard core delight going on.

Part of me wants to take this as a lesson in upping my procrastination game by going out and doing things more. But at the same time too I’m starting to get hardcore writer guilt that I haven’t produced as many words as I had wanted to by this point this year. But I’ve also been super happy and have been able to hang out with some really excellent people and done things and been to places that were novel to me.

I’m still struggling to find a balance between hedonism and discipline. It’s hard because that hedonism has really done wonders for my depression and artistic inspiration. It’s been harder to find time to sit down and write, but I feel like when I do sit down, there’s been a marked improvement even over last year.

But, of course, that improvement could have happened if I’d been working hard too. Also, I have a strong suspicion that the longer I go between long writing sessions, the lazier my prose gets, which leads to much head-desking in the revision stages (which contain more than enough reasons to head-desk without the incomprehensible run on sentences).

Meh. My band’s got a CD release show coming up for our second EP, which I got to record in a recording studio for at the end of last year. And we got to take band photos last month too.


The circle perpetuates itself.

I’m gonna be 34 in less than a month. I’m having just about the right amount of feelings about this one. And for my birthday this year I’m asking folks to write me a letter or a note about anything they want to write me a letter or a note about. So if you’ve got something you want to write to me about, go for it. I’ve got a submission form on my about page.

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